Much Ado About Albus
by Keira-House M.D
Summary: Five times Rose and Scorpius fight over and about Albus and the one time they unite to get him out of the room. Rose/Scorpius. Birthday fic for WonderWitch123


**Disclaimer:** **I don** **'** **t own Harry Potter, it is the property of the brilliant J.K Rowling. This story is the product of her marvellous characters and world and my imagination.**

 **Birthday fic for WonderWitch123 who asked for a Rose and Scorpius pairing where they are fighting and there is only one extra person in the entire story. I'll confess that there are a few background characters mentioned and slightly bigger part for one other character but only three main characters – Rose, Scorpius and Albus. It's from Albus' POV too but his focus is on Rose and Scorpius. Hope you enjoy it.**

 **Follows canon except Scorpius has known Albus and Rose since he was little as Harry is cordial to Draco and Hermione is friends with Astoria.**

* * *

 _ONE - First year – Hogwarts Express_

Albus asks what House they think each of them will be sorted into, thinking that it will be a short discussion that lasts for ten minutes at most.

He doesn't expect his two best friends to spend two hours debating the topic.

It's not even their own Houses that they have trouble deciding on. Scorpius is a shoe-in for Slytherin and Rose has calculated (using the Arithmancy her mother is already teaching her) that she has a 65% chance of Gryffindor, a 25% chance at Ravenclaw, 7% for Hufflepuff and 3% for Slytherin. Albus personally thinks the fact that she has done those calculations should increase her Ravenclaw percentage but he's wise enough not to say that out loud (Rose has Aunt Hermione's glare and Uncle Ron's temper).

No, what they spend two hours fighting over is which House Albus is going to be in. They both seem quite convinced that he will be in the same House as them and neither will admit to being wrong.

They start with intelligent, well thought out points, but soon descend into name-calling and tenuous links to try and prove their point.

Rose looks almost embarrassed when she uses the fact that both of Albus' parents and all four grandparents were in Gryffindor (as she well knows children often go to different Houses than their parents).

When Scorpius counters back that Albus is too smart for Gryffindor Albus has to hold his cousin back from jumping onto Scorpius (she takes offense on her own behalf as well as on her mother's, since Hermione Granger-Weasley is widely considered to be the smartest witch of her age and Rose, people say, looks like she'll follow in her mother's footsteps).

In the end he manages to distract them with Quidditch talk.

Scorpius dreams of playing for the House team and even if Rose doesn't like playing it Uncle Ron has at least passed on some of his obsession with the sport and she enjoys watching and discussing it (despite her habit of focusing too much on the statistics of it all for Albus' liking).

Later, when Albus is sorted into Slytherin and watches Scorpius make victorious gestures in the direction of Rose at the Gryffindor table, and sees her send death glares back, he wonders if it's too late to be sorted into Hufflepuff.

* * *

 _TWO - Summer before third year – Diagon Alley_

"He'll like mine better."  
"Don't be stupid Rose, it's obvious that mine is infinitely superior. Malfoys always have the best."

"Merlin, you sound just like my dad's impression of your dad as a teenager. Mum always tells him off but she smiles too so it must be accurate."  
"Well it's still true. Al will definitely think mine is best."

"Bet you won't be so high and mighty when Al says mine is nicer."

"The only way that'll happen is nepotism."  
"You take that back Scorpius Malfoy. Al wouldn't ever do that and I'll beat you fair and square, not because he's my cousin."

Albus hears his best friends from all the way down the street and wonders if he'll ever be able to leave the two of them alone together without an argument or fight or debate breaking out.  
From the glares being traded by Uncle Ron and Draco Malfoy, and the shared wry smiles between Aunt Hermione and Astoria Malfoy, Albus can tell that Rose and Scorpius have probably been arguing from quite a while. Glad as their fathers are that Rose and Scorpius like to fight, and despite Aunt Hermione and Astoria's attempts to bring them around to the idea, they still dislike the fact that their children are actually friends.

When they spot him, Rose and Scorpius immediately stop talking and head towards him with scarily determined looks on their faces.

He has a sudden urge to flee but his dad pushes him towards them with a grin that's just a little bit evil (and he's supposed to be the wizarding world's savior) and tells him to go and be the peacemaker.

Rose and Scorpius latch onto an arm each and Albus thinks this must be what a reception school teacher feels like all of the time.

"Hi Al, so glad to see you. You're on my side, right?"  
"Shut up Rose, Al knows I'm right."

"Al is right here and able to speak for himself thanks," Albus says dryly, "he also has no idea what you two idiots are talking about."  
They both let go of him and hold out their hands to show him the Pygmy Puff they each have.  
"So come on Al," says Scorpius, "mine is better right?"

Albus looks at the two Pygmy Puffs. They both look identical to him. He's got an eye for detail (a seeker like his dad) but he can see no differences in the Pygmy Puffs, not even in their identical movements.

He doesn't tell his friends that – he can see a slight hysteria in their eyes that tells him that he needs to make a definite decision.

He tries for a few minutes to find another option.

He fails.

In the end, cursing himself internally for not being better at negotiating his friends' weirdness, he points sheepishly at Rose's Pygmy Puff and, in the chaos that follows as Rose crows victoriously and Scorpius scowls, Albus makes a quiet escape.

He really needs new best friends.

* * *

 _THREE - Fourth year - Hogwarts_

Rose, Scorpius and Albus are happy working as a trio in any of the classes that they share and due to projects involving three per group, uneven class sizes that mean there needs to be a trio as well as pairs, and a lack of pair projects in the classes Gryffindor and Slytherin share they have never been split as a group … until now.

Fourth year Potions requires pairs and since the class size is even they have no chance of being able to work as a trio.

Albus always enjoys working with Rose and Scorpius. They're the two cleverest students in their year (Albus is smart too, he knows, but his two best friends are on a whole other level) and they challenge each other and him and the three of them always get great marks on their group work.

Now, though, all of their usual amiability is gone in the face of the announcement that one of them will have to work with someone else.

Albus is fairly easy about it all. There's a lot he can be fussy about but his partner in this project isn't one of them. As long as it's someone who will pull their weight then he's good.

Rose and Scorpius are a different story entirely.

"I'm with Al," Rose says as soon as Professor Sandia has told them to split into pairs.

Scorpius scowls, "why do you get to be with Al? We're in the same House so it's easier for him to be my partner."  
"You can't use that excuse," Rose scoffs, "we're always together in the library and there's plenty of time then for Al and I to do the project. Besides, Daisy Brown is in this class and you keep talking about wanting to get closer to her – why don't you partner with her?"

"When I said closer," Scorpius replies, "I didn't mean academically."

Rose grimaces at the implication and Albus swears he sees a hint of jealousy in her expression but it vanishes in a moment and he thinks perhaps he was seeing things.  
He doesn't blame Scorpius for wanting to avoid having Daisy, who keeps making hopeful eyes in the direction of their table, as his partner. Pretty, nice and quite the Charms whizz, Daisy has plenty of admirers including Scorpius, but Potions is not the girl's strong suit and Scorpius, like Rose, is always aiming for as many O grades as possible.

He turns away from his musings about Daisy back to his friends and discovers they are still arguing. They have managed not to fall into their usual tactics of childish insults and are actually both making fairly decent points for having Albus as their partner – he's quite flattered.

It's strange but they seem to be enjoying their little fight. He supposes that they don't often find too many people who can keep up with their wit and intelligent barbs, at least not any close friends. There is Albus, of course, but neither of them like to fight with him, not since he mastered his father's 'I will be victorious and you will fall' stare – used to great effect on incompetent Auror trainees, idiotic bureaucrats and, it is rumoured, Voldemort himself.

Ten minutes in and despite the increasing volume of their 'discussion' Albus notices they haven't drawn a crowd. Everyone is too used to their arguments by now.

Soon, though, Professor Sandia has had enough. She sweeps over and sorts out the whole issue by telling Albus that he can work with Gwen Wood and Rose and Scorpius, since they have so much to say to each other, can be a pair.

Albus goes over to Gwen with no fuss. She's got a little too much of her father's Quidditch mania but she's clever, hard-working and fun.

He looks over to his two best friends, both silent as they digest the fact that neither of them has managed to get Albus as their partner (and neither is the winner of their little argument).

Albus expects to see a scowl from one or both of them.

But when they start talking, he notices small smiles on both of their faces and wonders if they realise how much they enjoy spending time together.

When, a minute later, Rose starts berating Scorpius for some small offense, Albus guesses that they've still got a way to go.

* * *

 _FOUR - Fifth year - Hogwarts_

Their OWLs are over and the sun is shining. They have decided to avoid thinking about how their exams have gone and focus instead on enjoying the week they have before they leave for the summer. Everyone is relaxed.

Everyone but Albus, who is stuck in a literal tug of war.

There has been peace during the exam period from the usually argumentative Rose and Scorpius, but now that they are over the two seem rowdier than ever when they're together.

They're each holding one of his arms and making a valiant effort to pull him apart and it really hurts but they seem to be ignoring his protests, deaf to everything but their own fight over him.

"We're going to play Quidditch," Scorpius says, "we haven't been out in over a month and we need to get some practice in ready for next year."  
"You've got the whole summer to practice and there are Quidditch pitches at both of your houses. It'll be hard to see our friends over the summer. Gwen's going to Ireland and Daisy to America and Louis to France with Uncle Bill, Aunt Fleur, Victoire and Dom, and …"

Scorpius cuts Rose off with a dismissive wave of his hand, "yeah I get it, but you can talk to them inside the castle if it's wet or dark and it's better to practice in good weather, like today."

"Al doesn't want to play Quidditch. He promised we'd hang out with our friends today and I've got a theory to test involving the Giant Squid."

"So go test it, you don't need Al for that. Besides, he obviously wants to play Quidditch more. He's only being nice agreeing with you."

Rose growls and pulls her wand out and Scorpius counters with his own. Albus gets worried.

"Err, guys, still right here, in the middle, in the line of fire. Look why don't Scorpius and I practice Quidditch for an hour or two and then we'll still have time to spend out by the lake."

They ignore him, wands still trained on each other. Albus sighs, sensing it's going to be another all or nothing situation for the two of them with no chance of compromise.

His friends' grips tighten on him and he can't help but wince.

"Now look what you've done, you're hurting Al," shouts Rose, seemingly unaware that she's causing just as much discomfort as Scorpius is.

"I think you mean it's you who's hurting him," Scorpius retorts.

They glare and lift their wands higher. Albus sighs once more, resigned to getting caught in the crossfire.

Five minutes later Rose and Scorpius, miraculously unscathed, escort Albus (who got hit by every spell they threw) to the Hospital Wing, apologising profusely but still blaming each other.

Albus thinks the two of them might just be lost causes.

* * *

 _FIVE - Sixth year – Hogwarts_

Albus and Gwen enter the Arithmancy classroom Professor Vector has kindly let them use, ready to revise, only to find Rose and Scorpius on opposite sides of the room and refusing to look at each other.

Gwen takes one look at the scene, pecks him on the cheek and leaves after wishing him luck. She, like the rest of Hogwarts, knows when one of Rose and Scorpius' arguments, fixable only by Albus, is coming.

Albus is irritated and thinks about leaving them as punishment for ruining the study session and making him mediate again. He knows it isn't a good idea, though, because the last time Rose and Scorpius were left alone for more than ten minutes they both ended up in the Hospital Wing overnight. Albus, despite being the son of Harry 'I had a Hospital Wing bed named after me' Potter, has actually spent the least time of the three of them under Madame Pomfrey's care.

It baffles him, though. Rose and Scorpius have so much in common and, when Albus is around, they are the best of friends and all three of them have loads of fun. But when they are left alone all they do is fight and argue and Albus is stuck playing peacemaker.

They both turn to look at him simultaneously.  
"Come on then," he says tiredly, "what is it now?"

"I know we're all best friends," Rose says, "But one of us must be your best best friend. It's me, right?"

Albus doesn't even bother trying to work out how Rose can casually call Scorpius a best friend like she doesn't threaten to hex him, constantly insult him and often physically attack him (and vice versa) on a regular basis.

"I'm fairly sure I can have two joint best friends," he says, wishing that would be the end of it and knowing it won't be.

"But you like me more," Scorpius says as if Albus never spoke his last sentence.

"I'm his cousin," Rose says, "and I've known him my whole life."  
"I've known him almost as long so that argument doesn't work."

"Well family is forever."  
"You can't pick family," Scorpius counters, "but you can pick friends. He chose me and just got stuck with you."

"That's not true," Rose shouts, "he doesn't like Lucy just because she's our cousin."

Scorpius' nose wrinkles in distaste, "no one likes Lucy, she's horrid – that doesn't count."

"Well Al likes Arithmancy like me."  
"He likes Quidditch like me. We're on the team together."

"I like Quidditch too."  
"But you don't play it. Plus Al and I are in the same House."

"Al likes tennis like I do. We go to matches together all the time."  
"He stays over at my house during the holidays."  
"He stays at mine too."

Albus puts his head in his hands. His two friends can go on for hours, he knows, and he can't think of a way to placate both of them. He's learned by now not to just choose randomly because the loser in each situation always makes sure to take revenge and all three of them inevitably end up in trouble.

So he does the only thing he can think of and blurts out that actually, Teddy Lupin is probably his favourite.

Then he flees the room and hides out for a few hours hoping that their tempers will calm.

They don't and he ends up spending the night in the Hospital Wing while Madame Pomfrey talks about how she thought he was more sensible but he's obviously more like his father than she thought.

Still, at least he gets Rose and Scorpius working together, even if their goal did turn out to be hexing him.

He'll take what victories he can get with those two.

* * *

 _SIX - Seventh year – Hogwarts_

Their NEWTs were done and they were enjoying the second of their blissful days of freedom, with most students basking in the sun and sitting by the lake enjoying the peace of not having to revise.

Albus is searching for Rose and Scorpius. He's been doing so for over an hour and knows he could continue searching for hours more given the size of the castle and grounds. But they haven't been in any of the usual spots, or with the group of seventh years tickling the Giant Squid.

He sees Gwen in the group, smiling and waving at him, and he really wants to join her. But he doesn't want to imagine the trouble Scorpius and Rose can get into alone – with no exams to distract them he thinks they may end up in a full-out duel.

So he shakes his head and smiles in relief when Gwen understands straight away why he needs to go – she really is the best girlfriend ever.

Another half hour and he finally hears voices in the empty library that sound like his two best friends.

They seem to be whispering, which is a change from their usual raised voices, but he thinks that after years they've finally made some progress in reigning in their tempers.

They look surprised to see him and Rose immediately jumps up from her seat close to Scorpius.

Their yearbook is on the table, open to the page that features one of Albus' favourite photos of Rose and Scorpius (because they are laughing together with no hint of the childish teasing they often engage in).

He expects Scorpius to make a comment about Rose's hair in the photo (almost as wild and unmanageable as her mother's), for Rose to say Scorpius has the look of a ferret about him (they've all heard the story about fake-Moody, Draco Malfoy and the amazing bouncing ferret from Uncle Ron) and then for them both to demand Albus tell them who is better looking in the picture.

But they don't.

Rose mumbles something about doing a project with Scorpius and how Albus can't stay in case he steals their idea (ludicrous, of course) and then Scorpius is pushing him out of the library and telling him to go have fun with his girlfriend and Albus isn't quite sure what is happening but he makes his way outside anyway because he loves spending time with Gwen and it's nice that Rose and Scorpius can work sensibly together for once.

He's halfway between the castle and the lake before he remembers that classes and exams are all over – none of them have any projects to do.

He spends half a minute thinking about why Rose would lie to him before Gwen distracts him with a kiss.

At graduation a week later Scorpius Malfoy kisses Rose Weasley after their joint speech as Head Boy and Girl.

And while the crowd whoops around them, while Aunt Hermione and Astoria beam, while Uncle Ron and Draco look resigned, while all the teachers (even stern Headmistress McGonagall) smile, Scorpius and Rose break apart and look at each other with such love that Albus wonders why he didn't see the spark before.

And then they ask him to tell them whose part of the speech was better and he realises they'll never change.


End file.
